Simple Pleasures
by Teaffers
Summary: In which Thorin lavishes his consort heavily, but he doesn't realize that hobbits are quite simple creatures who enjoy simple things. Thilbo Bagginshield; Thorin/Bilbo; Slash. Fluff. Consort AU


Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit, books nor movies.

Summary: In which Thorin lavishes his consort, but he doesn't understand that hobbits are quite simple creatures.

Pairing: Thilbo Bagginshield; Thorin/Bilbo

Rated: T

Xxx

It wasn't that Bilbo didn't quite enjoy all the things that his husband had somehow conjured up for him and it wasn't that he didn't enjoy the attention, because in both cases he very much did enjoy them. But there came a point in time where things no longer meant something to the poor hobbit and he was beginning to get fed up with the continual line of presents from his dear husband.

At first, it was small and simple things that Bilbo did quite enjoy and found some sentimental pleasure at looking at when he picked them up. It was these simple trinkets that Bilbo found that he loved the most. The first being a small pendant with the Durin's family symbol. It was plastered everywhere on the small hobbit's frame, his husband being quite the possessive one, but the pendant was so beautiful.

It was set into silver, which was the best part, if you asked Mr. Bilbo. There was so much gold around that it was hard to spot the slivers of silver amongst all the reflective yellow throughout the mountain. Sometimes, when Thorin wasn't too busy with lunches with esteemed dwarves of the Blue Mountains, he would sneak inside their rooms and find Bilbo staring at the pendant fondly. It was one of his small husband's most prized possessions.

But the gifts had not stopped there, soon it was large golden diamond rings and piles upon piles of precious jewels. Crowns with many sapphires and rubies hanging down on golden chains. Then there was the armor, gold plated and on every piece was the Durin crest. Thorin lavished his consort as much as he could, as often as he could. Anything that hobbit wanted was given to him, usually gold and usually with the Durin crest on it.

It was getting to be a bit too much for the poor hobbit, who was a creature of simple pleasures and liked nothing more than small things. He usually had not much more than a few things that were of precious metals or jewels and those things weren't of much value back in the Shire.

Oh, how he missed his hobbit hole and all his possessions. He knew that Thorin would allow a trip back to his beloved home if only he asked, but Bilbo knew that if he went back, he would never want to leave it again. And he loved Thorin too much to ever be too far from his husband for much long unless absolutely necessary.

But Bilbo fancied himself to dream of taking the journey back to the Shire, at least to visit his closer relatives. He very much wanted to know how his little nephew, Frodo, was doing, as well as his parents. He missed them dearly and thought perhaps he would send them a letter, but first and foremost, he needed to talk to his husband.

Thorin had seen the Shire, he had walked the paths and seen the hobbit doors that protruded from the green hills. He had been inside of Bilbo's home and eaten at his table and sung in front of his fireplace. He knew of all the things that had been in the hobbit's hole and somehow, for the life of Bilbo he couldn't understand, Thorin didn't seem to grasp the fact that hobbits were simply simple creatures.

They needed no large mountain or piles upon piles of gold to feel wealthy. Just having a respectable name was good enough for them. Fine parties, hard work, and a beautiful garden were enough to make any hobbit feel right at home. They fancied themselves with whatever work they wanted and liked eating food as much as it was available to them. All in all, simple creatures with simple lives.

Wars and dragons and goblins and adventures were all stories told on midsummer night's eve festivals and when a stranger walked into Bree's tavern. But that was all they were, just stories. Gold was hardly something that they sought after, and when had was almost always spent on good food or new seeds or whatever fit a hobbit's hobbies. They were like this all the time and most other races envied the way of life.

Thorin had seen and witnessed all these things, so Bilbo, for the life of him, still couldn't understand why his husband seemed it fit to lavish him with all sorts of things that Bilbo had no interest at all in. There was at least two full rooms of trinkets and swords and all other odds and ends that Thorin had given to Bilbo out of the blue. He had piled them secretly there and only entered to put more gifts inside.

The king's consort sighed as he waited for Thorin to enter their bedroom, the hobbit already sitting on their bed in his nightgown. Sometimes his husband's business with other royals ran late and Bilbo was waiting up till the wee hours of the morning for Thorin to come warm his side of the bed. Thankfully, tonight was not one of those and the dwarf slipped inside shortly after Bilbo had sat down on the bed to wait.

After locking the door and making his way over to his husband for a kiss, the king began to strip of his outer garments, getting ready to lay down with his consort.

"Thorin," Bilbo said softly, once his husband was in his own night shirt and had slipped into bed beside Bilbo. Thorin raised an eyebrow and wrapped an arm around the pudgy hobbit.

"Did you get my gift?" he asked gruffly, and Bilbo vaguely recalled the annoyance that had led him to believe that he needed a talk with his husband which led him to this exact point in time.

"Ah, yes, about that," Bilbo started, "I think perhaps it is time to cut down on the gifts," he said bluntly, knowing that it was the only way to make his point clear to the dwarf. Thorin gave a start and frowned, obviously hurt by the mere idea.

"Don't you like them?" he asked, disappointment seeping into his tone as he tightened his grip on Bilbo's waist. The hobbit rolled his eyes, for he knew why his husband was doing so. Dwarves were sometimes like this, at least his dwarf was, and Bilbo knew it. He knew that Thorin thought that if Bilbo didn't like his gifts, it meant that there was a possibility that the hobbit would leave and divorce him.

"Stop being so silly," the hobbit grunted, squirming in his husband's embrace. "I am not one to marry someone I love only to divorce them," he sassed, before continuing on to his point, "It's not that I don't like them. They are just too much for me. Hobbits are very simple creatures and we enjoy simple things.

"I don't know what to do with all the gifts you give me nor where to put them. The rooms I have designed for your gifts soon won't hold any more and then where will I be? I'll be deigned to throw them back into the pile of gold we have and you'll find them and get angry with me and who knows when it'll be resolved," Bilbo rushed, wanting to get this damned talk over with so he could just get some sleep.

"So, I don't want any more gifts from you unless it's my birthday or our anniversary or a holiday," he huffed, laying down some ground rules, "And only on random occasions do I want gifts. And they have to be small and something I can wear in public without being too gaudy. Also, if they must be a precious metal, I want it to be silver," he stated, before falling into silence.

Thorin stared at his husband before a small smile slipped onto his lips, "Is that all?" he teased, loosening his hold only slightly on Bilbo's waist. The hobbit gaped at him, "What do you mean is that all?" he asked in return, scooting closer and forcing one leg in between Thorin's.

The dwarf almost snorted and pressed his forehead to Bilbo's, "I was only doing what my forefathers did to their mates," he murmured, "My mother and grandmother always seemed to love being showered with things and I thought perhaps I should do the same," Thorin mused.

Bilbo rolled his eyes. Of course, there had to have been some explanation to it all. "Well, now you know," he murmured, shaking his head. "And I am not a female dwarf. I am a male hobbit," he mumbled, huffing quietly.

"Oh, I know," was the snarky reply before Thorin leaned forward to kiss his husband happily and show him just how much he knew that Bilbo was a male hobbit.

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[{[I just wanted this one to be fluffy and cute. I was tempted to write a smut scene, but was too lazy.]}]


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